I have to make a start(re-start)sometime.....its been a one and a half year absence on my blog.
Today is IMBOLC. The Celtic celebration for the passing through of the darkness of Winter into light...represented by the Celtic Triple Goddess Brigit(or Bride) of Ireland.
Brigit is patron Goddess of Imbolc, good harvests, healthy children and Women.
We may call upon her to protect and empower us at this magical time. The darkest days are over and Spring is greeted with dancing, flowers and simple pleasures.
                                                                       
Well...the flowers may be up in England (i did just check in with my Sister over there) but here in Canada we are in a big freeze again, though i did not let this stop me from performing my ritual celebration and feeling the joy and fire in my Goddess heart. The lighting of many candles signifying the Festival of lights and i pulled out my Brigit card from my Goddess oracle pack and felt instantly supported and warmed by her presence.
Such a lot has happened in the last year...as of now i dont know how much will come forward as i continue my blogging journey but i feel ready to jump in after many false starts and self reprimands so we will see how it all unfolds.
I so dislike New Years Resolutions that i was determined to just 'fall into' a day, any day that inspired
me to connect again...the best time is the time that it feels right and not under any pressure to achieve.
So today is as good as any...in fact its a magical day ...one of joyful celebration and potency.
Happy Imbolc!

Road trip North America

Well....Its been months since i began this journey(and my last blog entry)....actually from my home in Newmarket Ontario when we put our house on the market and began to believe in the possibility of freeing ourselves from the life we were leading, venturing out onto the open roads of North America for a big adventure.
We were already in the process of making it happen...selling off beloved items, giving away much more to charity shops and finally my first ever yard sale...definately an experience!
As we lightened the load the dream came ever closer....along with it many stresses and strains as we released ourselves from all that bound us to our home and offered security, including our jobs and our friends and Family.
This would indeed be quite the adventure....to where?...we had a vague idea....to what?...we did not know.

By mid May we found ourselves homeless and in our recently purchased 21 foot trailer, excited, novices chomping at the bit to get started....but first we had to learn how to live and utilise the trailer with all its quirks....space being the number one challenge. Everything becomes much more deliberate and slower....hmmm ...lesson number one.
After a week at a local campground learning the ropes we finally swayed out onto the road on May 18th more than ready to begin our adventure.
As I sit here writing just two weeks later I see how much we have learned already as we adjust to life on the road...the total unknown element of travelling in a small mobile home. Every day is a big surprise and it certainly is DIFFERENT to the life we were leading.
One of my daily rituals has become a way for me to measure the changes....my morning Yoga!
First thing I do when I awake...(very early now for me 6am)...and now outside as much as I possibly can...in every different campsite, on picnic tables or the ground...accompanied by the birds.
What a great way to begin the day...aware of the senses and the newness of each place we stay.

We have already encountered scary weather conditions and been forced to choose alternate routes for safety sake....and seen and driven through more torrential rain in one week than we've seen in years.
Our first major destination was four days in Nashville and did not disappoint. We both revelled in the joyful, inclusive feeling that it offered and succumbed to the amazing Music evident in every bar along Broadway...and I got my amazing turquoise Cowboy boots there!
With the Country music in my blood I felt a special affinity here...The Country Music Hall of Fame
was especially wonderful and I felt 'at home' as I poured over all the artefacts and reminders of the story of Country music....many of the old names and sounds that I was brought up on back in England.
We actually were privileged to enjoy our first night in Nashville at the Grand Ole Opry. A night I will never forget....I was tingling with excitement and recognition as we stepped inside. Wished my Mam see it. Saw and heard my fave hearthrob from the series 'Nashville'(i know its not real but it felt like it to me...i couldn't have been more starstruck!)
 Many great memories and heartfelt joy from our stay in Nashville.
Temperatures were rising as we crossed Tennessee, Alabama and into Mississippi...heading for New Orleans, and more Music.
more on Orleans next post.....

Memories of my Sari Yurt I created in the Summer! I felt the need then to travel and experience exotic places.....I did that in my own back garden each day....hiding behind billowing, colourful saris, and tinkling windchimes....the wind signalling change and the need to be flexible and bend with the transition...I see it now that it lead to here...as we are setting the stage, (literally as our house was professionally staged today)...for our upcoming journey, wherever it leads...

Many changes afoot....and more to come. This beautiful Buddha reminds me to breathe....and stay grounded and real. A big life change ahead as we are getting our house ready for selling and then, when the deed is done and we release our beautiful home to the new recipients, we will head out on a big adventure across the U.S and Canada in a small trailer(yet to be discovered...all in right timing) to live a simpler life for a while.....or maybe longer... We will see what Life presents us.
As we prepare for this BIG adventure....the emotions, thoughts and feelings are multi-layered and very "out of body" experiences.
We are living in a house that no longer looks like our home....stripped of all colour and personality in an effort to appeal to the wider masses....we wander from room to room, leaving an echo....(no pictures on the walls!) and a trail of 'something new is about to happen' wafting behind us.
This is a process....this I know....and this too will pass...the strain, the physical work and constant motion, monkey-mind and the anticipation.
We have moved house many times....this time, we both agree is very different. We are endeavouring to contain our house contents in an 11x15 foot locker. Looking around this 2300 sq foot home, even I know that mathematically this cannot be done!
But there has been a big shift this last few months(maybe even longer than that) and I feel compelled to "let go" of all that has shackled me and weighed me down and release it and live a simpler and more honest life. A real creative life! Not just painting, creating, teaching here and there but, living each day in creative pursuit.....and for this we need to open up to something completely new....theres a whole World out there and I am excited to jump in!
More to come....

Snowball on ice!!

A long......long...Winter!

Oh my! It HAS been a long, long Winter....and thus a really long time since I wrote on my blog.
I have THOUGHT about it though....have to say that this Winter Season has been extremely taxing
and unusual in its persistence and frigidity, even for here.
I am not celebrated as a lover of Winter Sports...or any pastime involving a temperature that is not comfortable....but this has been a tough and ongoing stretch of.....waiting....just waiting for the weather to give it up! It feels like we are 'on hold'....so, what to do under the circumstances?
Well, best we stay 'POSITIVE' first of all....that helps...again, a test of our strengths and beliefs under duress.
So...since early in January I have been rolling out of bed each morning...diving into Yoga....every day...and walking ...if too cold outside I venture off to the Mall to walk with the many dedicated locals in the morning. I am not a lover of The Mall or consumerism, but the building has served its purpose on many a frigid morning! What a difference to my day!! I feel invigorated, centred....am able to focus and seem to have more time.
Mindfullness! Who knew?
I believe this is in part, due to the fact that I have committed to myself, given myself the time at the beginning of the day...regardless of pressing errands or situations...I give myself this first.
It totally changes my day, which, in turn, will change the quality of my life!
.....and pretty soon, we will be running short sleeved, into the Spring and much more opportunity to be good to ourselves, sharing many adventures and happenings....
Being mindful gently lays our path before us....clearly, without fanfare....a step at a time....

Growth and Creativity

Well...this is a very exciting moment for me....I am on my laptop (yes, I actually have one even though I am not computer savvy!)..and I am NOT in my home writing this! I feel very business-like!
I am downtown killing time before I go to the first of two night courses to learn to design (very simply I may add) my own Web. Feeling nervous but full of potential.
This has been a year of discovery and growth for me...and taking risks is a big part of that, also engaging in things that don't necessarily inspire me but may help me toward my vision of a life well lived, and well loved....Creating and supporting others in their Creativity.
I have taken small steps towards my dreams...dreams I have held onto tightly for almost 10 years (or maybe even longer)....I realised that the only way forward for me was to step into my fears, face them....and break down my dream into small increments....I can feel the pull...see the vision and am now more excited than I am afraid.....
Though I have been creating and selling my Art for 40 years
(wow...that long??) I have never considered myself to be in business. It is just so intrinsic to who I am I could not declare or assimilate this notion...until now.
There are so many possibilities for creative pursuit that it is distracting and mind-blowing...the joys endless, a privilege and a responsibility....I feel honoured and happy to have always had my Art.....if I had nothing else, I had my Art and the feeling it gave me that I could do anything and be anything if I could create it.
This year has been both, challenging in many ways, and an exciting adventure, as I push out and test the possibilities. I am excited by the potential to share my imagery in different modalities....to teach and facilitate bigger groups and Retreats, and am painting more than I have in a long time...welcoming every facet.
We are here to share our gifts, dream big and create community, and joy....whatever I can do in my capacity for positive growth for myself and to support others, I am excited and happy to undertake and share.
If we can all discover and follow our Passions even in a small way, it will ripple out and make a difference.....What a great world this will be...get to it!

BEAUTY FROM THE BROKEN PLACES....

Yes..it really has been 4 months since my last entry on my blog!.....things have been pretty much at a standstill through the Summer and up until this last week, re my purpose/journey with my Art....I am ok with that. I am very much following my intuition these days, and allowing myself..TIME.... not forging ahead blindly in panic.....I have dropped the need to be 'doing for the sake of doing'....I am listening to my Heart and following its lead...which of course, always encourages me to Create anyway....it is just a matter of what?....and when.
So...back to the Summer....I was fortunate enough this year to be invited by a good friend to share some play time with her and her Husband, in her Native Newfoundland...a place I have always wanted to visit ...I just knew I would resonate with this beautiful place, and its people.....very like Scotland...and especially The Hebrides(My Native soil through my Grandfather).
What I did not expect was the sheer joy and contentment of the whole week spent with my friend....beach combing, playing, discovering, painting, sight seeing and meeting and sharing time with her Family(including a wonderful evening 'jamming' with her Brother...me on Harmonica, him on guitar trying to find songs to play together...so much fun!)......and the wonderful energy I found there.
So what do the two mixed media paintings above have to do with my trip to Newfoundland?.....ah...I did those there...in my little journal(these pieces are just 5x7 inches on paper)....it was very freeing just 'sketching' small pieces and writing, poetry and even songs as they just drifted into my Creative 'space' in my Heart....doodling and playing with pastels, pencils and washi tape...
And...the Sun shone...all week, as we explored, gathered the contents of the beaches daily offering, ate wild berries, and walked around the exquisite fishing villages in this stunningly beautiful Province.
I made a vow to myself that I would go back...and next time with my Husband....it's good to share!

On my return....I was filled with the beauty and power of our Ancestry.....the simplicity and joy we crave but often overlook....the many lives, woven through time and love....hidden beneath the layers within homes now abandoned in favour of "Progress"....newer, bigger, better....but still held in time,
the walls of these homes, capture the essence of these Families and their trials and tribulations, dreams and joys.. in layers of time-worn wallpaper.....and cherished mementos...now suspended and forgotten.
This painting was my intuitive response to these very deep feelings that stayed with me.....it is a special painting for me that serves to remind me not to rush through life....to embrace each day....to slow down....and to be grateful for all in my life.
Taking time to myself now every day.....and feeling better for it.....slow things down...we have time....

THE PRESENT MOMENT.......
                                                    It is a challenge each day to embrace the present moment....to ignore the triggers, that pull us, often, quite by surprise, back into the past....or to ground in and sit with any discontent and not be projecting into a future moment....to a time that we think 'it will all feel better when......for this is that moment.....this is really all we have.
 It was brought into very perspective to me a couple of days ago as I sat with a friend marvelling over his ''dream come true lifestyle''....right now....whilst already pondering his future five years from now.....my Husband then rightly suggested that just five years ago...this was our friends dream, and whilst it is empowering to have goals and to keep shifting them as we attain them.....also stop and pat yourself on the back...take a while to reflect on all you have achieved and all the work you did, focusing on the target....to draw those dreams to you. I guess my Husband has been listening to me all these years after all......now why didn't I say that?
 Before you are ready to move off the target.....ensure that you really embraced that sense of wonder and thanked your amazing self for all you did to actualise the dream that brought you to this place today!
Years from now we will all look back knowing that our thoughts, feelings, dreams from this day went out into The Universe to create the life we are living....we are after all, in the driving seat.....Yes, there is fate, luck....kismet, absolutely...but there is also 'free will'.....and what we CHOOSE to focus on becomes part of our daily lives.
I am so aware of this at this moment as I juggle all my possibilities every day for creating.....if I don't pick something and ask what I really want to do (not what I should be doing!!)...I will drown in a sea of frenzied activity, such is my thirst and passion for creative expression, instead I choose something from my list of possibilities checking in with my heart that is my best form of expression to bring me joy in that moment.
Creative expression drives me most of the day....even when I go for a slow bicycle ride, it is with an inquiring mind and eye as I cycle through the tundra....noting every colour, texture and potential for a photograph......and I wouldn't want it any other way.
For as long as we are here, we may as well make the most of every blessed day, there is joy and beauty everywhere.......
Words to keep you in the present moment.....
SPONTANAIETY
INTUITIVE
NOW
MYSTERY
BREATHE
BE
Have a wonderful moment!!!

Two more of my latest Goddesses...I painted these earlier this year.....very different paintings...inspired through music and allowing the process to develop intuitively....the colour is always foremost and then the Goddess will show herself....I felt the need to work in more detail for these two....something I seldom do whilst in the throes of painting....guided to express each one ....my students often ask..'How do I know when it is done?''...this is a very personal choice and not one I can make for them...every time is different, every Artist different, and you may feel you are happy with the artwork, that it is complete.....only to be pulled back a while later to excavate further and change the whole painting!!! This is what I love about Mixed Media....and Art in general...allow yourself to discover, to play, to create something new every time....and do not judge ....only BE!! Surrender to the moment.....it is only paint after all!!!

A few pics of parts of a painting I did  a while ago......these bits I was happy with...the textures, the layers.....other areas will have to be reworked...maybe many times...but that is the potential for mixed media....the possibilities are endless, especially if you are willing to work through it...'warts and all'...and expose yourself to those fears of not being perfect.....perfection will not create the necessary ingredients for discovery, renewal and possibility in art.....only fear and judgement....how about joy?
Can we play and let go of the outcome?.....the relief is worth it alone....and without the baggage we can explore like a child in a sandpit......try it!!!

 

The last few weeks each time I came to the canvas after the layers and the excavating ....and a feeling that if I just kept delving deeper....something more would show itself....I would not settle for the first, second or even third possiblity.....keep going....
.......I unearthed a Goddess...or two....they just kept showing up....and I eventually 'allowed' her expression over and over....it is many years since I gathered a series of Goddesses through my painting process....and often I resist...even as they persist....
this time, however, I felt it was ok....part of my process of personal growth, and now as I prepare to exhibit in probably my only art show this year (at Covernotes Coffee House in Richmond Hill) through the month of May....I discover to my surprise, that all but 2 paintings are Feminine expression....think that could be related to my short, short hair...(the Goddess above has such fabulous long red hair!!)..and my personal feelings about Femininity as I work through the process of letting go of my hair.....
I love this process...Creativity....and am so privileged to be able to allow my expression through it.... as a Teacher(encourager!!) I endeavour to support others to feel safe enough to connect intuitively and 'allow' true expression...no fear...no judgement......a courageous stance and very empowering at the same time.....
As a ''Creator'' in any area of activity...set the stage for safety and support.....and truth....and get out of your own way.....Trust the mystery!!!

CRAVINGS....There's a feeling that there is always something to pursue....and sometimes it is not presenting itself so clearly and I have to detect and locate the urge to actualise the feeling.....
often it just simply leads to my favourite coffee shop with Journal in hand and a vision of Chocolate Lava cake and decaf coffee(Mmmm ..I can already feel my reflexes kicking in!!)....anyway....more often it is the desire, compulsion to paint, layer, create, destroy.....and create again....and very often I find myself descending to the music studio in the basement to sing and dance and proclaim very loudly, my exisitance and my joy! That 'restless spirit' in me has always been there, and was, at one time, an irritation, a relentless discord and nothing could satisfy.....but I have grown into and integrated this necessity for 'excavation and expression'....it serves me well and saturates my life with colour, inspiration and experiences and people who fill me with Wonder!
Every day is a new opportunity for discovery and joy....and lessons...and questions...and although this past few months have certainly presented me with life-changing elements....I am filled with gratitude and would not change any of it......The journey is the journey!...I am happy to stand and wait at the 'bus-stops' of life and am finally not concerned with its destination......
Let it unfold and celebrate every twist and turn....

Some of my amazing students at work...and play....in a flurry of papers, paints and inspiration....all trusting their intuition and love of expression !!

Pic of Joe trying out some new chords on the Mandolin....very special instrument....it belonged to his Aunt Mar...a Family Heirloom....and Joe taught himself to play it...he now accompanies Anna and I with it the epic song 'Battle of Evermore''(by the incredible Led Zeppelin)...come out some time and have a listen!

Well...what a long break from Blogging!!! 3 months...knew I had to get back into it....and each time I tried there was a techno glich which didn't help....anyway....thus far...looking ok.
The Winter certainly hasn't been very encouraging here...It is all we can do to keep positive and hopeful that at some point, we will experience Spring!! I have been here almost 20 years and have never seen a Winter like this..
Onto more uplifting aspects of life.....Thank you to all our fab friends and supporters who came out to our recent gig at Roma Cafe in Newmarket ....what a great night! The energy was wonderful...sense of Community astounding, and many smiley, happy faces... so many friends that some even took up space on the floor for a short while due to lack of seating....bigger venues are required I think....though we do love to play the coffee shops....such a wonderful, intimate feeling.
We hadn't played a local gig since last August...just a lovely, cosy house gig in Feb....so this was both exciting and a little daunting to get back up there(and I had a head cold to boot!!), but with such amazing support...it was a fantastic evening for us all!!....and a great introduction for many to a great new European style cafe..ROMA and its passionate and friendly owner, Zafer.
Right now it is the Music that seems to be fronting my life, that, and the paintings that are at my fingertips and just requiring a canvas to spill out onto.....Goddesses everywhere.....we need them!
So more gigs upcoming....watch this space...we love your support.....the best thing ever to share with friends....and welcome strangers too...key word for this month...HARMONY!!!

Words of Wisdom from Lao Tzu , from ''Tao Te Ching''

Always we hope someone else has the answer.
Some other place will be better,
some other time it will all turn out well.
                  This is it. 
No one else has the answer.
No other place will be better,
and it has already turned out.
At the centre of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.

Ahhhh!! Into the New Year already....goodbye to 2013...which brought with it many triumphs,surprises and personal discoveries....not least that it was time for me to ....slooooow it all down and take stock....and cultivate stillness and dare I say it?...silence. It came in a surprising turn of events...with a shocking thud....but I got it and am now turning my attention to myself...and to my purpose...when you aren' listening to the whispers of The Universe...they get VERY LOUD!
I am excited in a quiet way, to experience the mystery that life will present, at it's own pace, and am grateful for that and so much more.
I want this to be a year, a time, of trusting and being in the moment....allowing the magic to unfold and to embrace what ever that brings. Yes, we can design a life...we can rush out to meet it...but this often determines a stressful existence as we plot and plan and try to take control....I have learned we do not have control....we can only 'BE' in that moment....
So as I gently walk my path...it is a cold, snowy one now...as I bravely venture out into the unknown(The Winter for me)...walking, looking and listening as I have never done before, and finding joy and beauty in the simplest things...as I should....it is all there before us to be enjoyed if we stop the madness...just for a while.
With my creative impulses vying and jostling for attention...I start my day by asking....what would bring me the most joy?...and I start there....no concern for the time, the end product or judgement....a tough task but I am up for it ....the rewards are magnificent!
I wish you all joy in simple things as we start this new venture....I'll be back!

This painting will be on show at my upcoming exhibition at the McKay Art Gallery on Main Street
Unionville September 25-29th....I have lots of new paintings that I am excited to show....
I have enjoyed time to myself this Summer...for introspection, and slowing down,....just taking time for me...
Have had many happy hours painting....some more contemplative...but all so worthwhile for connection and growth...every moment, every painting, a different experience....as it should be...
Hope to see you there!

see this painting at my upcoming art show at McKay Gallery,Main St. Unionville
September 25-29th

Getting ready now for my solo art show at the McKay Gallery coming up in September....pic taken last year outside this beautiful gallery on Main Street Unionville...always a wonderful, inspiring space to show in...
and chance for me to relax, knit, drink coffee, read.....and chat with whoever comes through the door over the five days that I show there.....
My show runs from Sept 25-29 (i will be there every day).....the week prior (Sept 18-22) is Katja Van Den Endens solo....bound to be amazing, having seen a couple of 'samples' of her more recent work.....can't wait....meanwhile,
...... am doing all the little jobs you tend to leave till last minute....varnishing, hanging wires, labels,signing, titles....statement....and of course all the 'bumpf' for the show...posters, postcards etc....i'm always excited when I see the poster made up finally....i know it's happening...it's so satisfying when the show is hung....and you stand back to survey the work you've put in(and the joy)....over previous months, to bring it all together....i never plan it...just paint when and how i feel and it just flows as it should....
....it is a quirky experience showing your art...being compelled as you are to paint in the first place, then to show.....can't be explained really....a need to share and connect with others from your heart....in the hope that someone resonates....'gets you'...the best feeling ever....i go through many emotions to produce my art...and I gladly own all of them as part of my process....and my existence...my creative response to being in the world....
hope to see you!!!

I know it's hot and sticky.....and we just had an amazing Summer storm....but you gotta love fibres!!  anytime...i dip my hand in one of my ''wool'' baskets just for a feel of all the squishy, softness and to see the colours of the beautiful Rasta wool, with its tie-dyed look.....hmmm...will it be another crazy scarf...or a purse????I don't seem to knit so much in the Winter.....wonder what that's about????